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“We Don’t Need to Rebrand. We Need to Remember.”- Tracee Ellis Ross
- ✨Coach Ahava✨
- Jan 3
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 5
When Tracee Ellis Ross said, “Women don’t need to rebrand. We just need to remember,” I felt that in my chest.
Not in a cute, Pinterest-quote way. In a deep, soul-tapping, ‘hold on now’ kind of way.
Because if there’s one thing Black women are constantly told to do, it’s reinvent ourselves. Rebrand. Upgrade. Become a “new version.” As if who we are right now is somehow outdated, broken, or not enough.
But Tracee didn’t say fix. She didn’t say change. She said Remember.
And that’s a very different assignment.
The Lie That We’re Always Becoming Instead of Being
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us were taught that growth meant abandoning ourselves.
That healing meant becoming softer in ways that erased our edges. That femininity meant shrinking, performing, or proving. That evolution meant leaving parts of ourselves behind to be “acceptable.”
So we keep chasing new identities:
New aesthetics
New language
New personalities
New “eras”
All while feeling exhausted, disconnected, and quietly grieving a version of ourselves we can’t quite name.
But what if the work isn’t to become someone new?
What if the work is to return?
Remembering Is a Radical Act for Black Women
For Black women, remembering is not passive. It’s revolutionary.
Because many of us learned how to survive before we learned how to be. We learned how to be strong before we learned how to be safe. We learned how to perform competence before we learned how to rest into our womanhood.
So when Tracee says remember, she’s talking about:
Remembering the girl you were before the world told you who to be
Remembering the softness you tucked away because it wasn’t protected
Remembering the intuition you muted to keep the peace
Remembering the femininity that wasn’t performative—it was natural
That woman didn’t disappear. She didn’t fail. She didn’t get it wrong.
She just went quiet so you could survive.
You’re Not Lost. You’re Just Disconnected.
This is the part that hit me the hardest.
So many women say, “I don’t recognize myself anymore.”But what they really mean is, “I’ve been living out of alignment for too long.”
You don’t need a new personality. You don’t need a total makeover. You don’t need to throw your whole life away.
You need reconnection.
Reconnection to your values.Reconnection to your body.Reconnection to your boundaries.Reconnection to your truth.
Remembering is about asking:
Who was I before I started proving?
Who was I before I started over-functioning?
Who was I when I trusted myself?
Feminine Growth Isn’t About Becoming “More.” It’s About Coming Hme.
This is why I love this quote so much—because it frees us.
It frees us from the pressure of perfection. It frees us from the constant chase.It frees us from thinking we’re behind.
Femininity isn’t something you manufacture. It’s something you uncover.
And the more you remember, the less you perform. The more you remember, the softer you feel without losing your strength. The more you remember, the clearer your standards become.
You stop asking, “How do I rebrand myself?”And start asking, “What parts of me have I abandoned?”
This Season Isn’t About Reinvention. It’s About Remembrance.
So if you’ve been feeling:
Disconnected
Burnt out
Confused about who you are
Tired of “starting over”
Let this be your permission slip.
You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not missing anything.
You are remembering yourself back into wholeness.
And that, my sister, is the most feminine thing you can do.
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